The Myth of a “Lucky” Life
"Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose—and commit to—what matters most.”
— Paulo Coelho
This week, I felt the full truth of what Coelho is conveying in this line. I stood in a lavender field in Provence—blooming, fragrant, infinite purple—and I had one overwhelming thought:
This is not luck. This is what brave, conscious choices look like.
From Structured Service to Self-Designed Freedom
For years, I worked in brain injury rehabilitation—a field I loved deeply. It was structured, intense, deeply meaningful, and required nearly all of me. That version of my career shaped who I am today.
But it also left little space for slowness, for self, for the other gifts I wanted to bring to life.
So I made a hard and honest decision:
I stepped away from the structure that once defined me and launched my own practice. I moved with my husband—part-time—to Spain. It wasn’t a vacation; it was a redesign of our life. It was terrifying. And it was necessary.
Spain invited me into a new rhythm:
Work is not the centerpiece of identity.
Pace is slower. Meals are longer.
Family and community matter. And Europe’s proximity offers adventure at every turn—like Provence, just a drive away.
Built, On Purpose
When I share moments like this—wandering through lavender or sipping coffee in a village square—people sometimes say, “You’re so lucky.”
But here’s the truth: this wasn’t luck. It was my intention. It required:
Saying YES to aligned risk.
Saying NO to cultural expectations.
Choosing freedom over fear, again and again.
In positive psychology, we talk about authentic happiness—not from achievement, but from alignment. Martin Seligman calls it a life of meaning, engagement, and pleasure.
What I’ve learned is: the more your life reflects your values and strengths, the more “lucky” it feels.
“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”
— The Dalai Lama
Rewiring Identity: From Doing to Being
What surprised me most in this transition wasn’t how much I still loved my work—it’s how much I loved myself when I wasn’t working.
Slowly, my identity softened—from “What do I do?” to “How do I feel? What do I notice? Who am I becoming?”
In neuroscience, we know that habitual thought patterns shape the brain. This is called neuroplasticity.
By changing the context of my life—slowing down, anchoring in joy, cultivating presence—I was rewiring not just my days, but my brain itself.
Science-backed Freedom: How Positive Psychology Helped Me Redesign My Life
Here’s what helped me most, and what I now teach:
VIA Strengths Exploration: Understanding what lights me up, my gifts, helped guide where I put my energy.
Glimmer Gazing: Noticing the micro-moments of joy made transition feel rich, not scary.
Mindset Shifts: From performance-based worth to presence-based worth. Who am I without the hustle? Still worthy. Still powerful.
Purposeful Habit Building: Anchoring my day with rituals—writing, movement, connection—keeps me steady even in new places.
Design a Life that Feels Like You
Today, I’m not chasing balance. I’m living in harmony with who I am and what I value.
I still do work I love—teaching the science of positive psychology and neuroscience—but now it’s from a place of wholeness, not depletion.
You don’t need to move to Spain. But you do need to listen to that voice inside that whispers, “More is possible.”
Your life can be designed—on purpose, with purpose.
“We don’t find meaning. We build it.”
— Emily Esfahani Smith
Try This
Take 10 minutes and reflect:
* What values do I want my life to reflect?
* What does freedom look like for me?
* What habits or mindsets are keeping me small?
Then Ask
What’s one brave, conscious choice I can make today to move toward that vision?
Your next chapter may already be unfolding. Take the time to notice it. And when you do—honor it.
